I’m typing this while taking a break from studying for a midterm exam for my online art history class. I have to create a cohesive study guide to aide me in the timed online essay exam. At the same time I need to finish several drawing assignments for my Design class that are due on the same day as the Art history exam.
But I did ask for this.
Literally, I prayed for it.
At the same time my mom and I were running all over town today to replenish our food and water supply which was dangerously low since we used most of ours up during the recent freeze. It’s been a busy time.
Moments like this, when I’m so harried, I need some emotional nourishment. Cute, trite little Instagram worthy sayings with pretty backgrounds just don’t cut it for me. That’s like a bite sized snickers when what I need is a steak. I need something more hard core. I need some Godly encouragement.
I deal with anxiety and have a hard time holding still for long periods of time. I tend to daydream or fidget. So to compensate I do some kind of small movement to help me focus. I twirl my pen, I massage my own hand. I flip an eraser around and around. Just some small movement is all I need to focus.
In class this works out fine because I can be taking notes. In church however, this can be a problem. I’ve been told flipping around a pen or any of the above mentioned movements are distracting when in church. Go figure.
So I started taking notes during the sermon. Writing down the highlights of each of my pastors sermons the same as I would a teacher’s lecture, I have filled over a dozen small books. Awhile back I was cleaning out a back room and found my collection of sermon books, and though busy, started skimming through them. One note in particular caught my eye and held my attention. The entire page was so apt for me right now, it is scary. It is as poignant to me now as it was when I first heard it.
I have kept that book open on my desk to that page ever since. I want to memorize it. It’s encouraged me so much; I’m thinking perhaps, it will encourage someone else as well.
Here below is the note. I might paint it someday.
What would you try if you weren’t afraid to fail? How high would you dream, how daring would you be if there were no worst case scenarios? We will have troubles but we don’t have to be troubled. Your best years are in front of you, especially if you’ve been though some hard stuff and had some trials and learned some lessons.
First comes the root, then comes the fruit, that’s how it is in nature and that’s how it is in life. Sometimes it’s hard to disentangle yourself from the weeds of life that threaten to choke you out. Let God clear them away. It’s not about trying harder; it’s about trusting him more.
- Bob Gomez 8/23/2020
It was just after this that I decided to go back to school, this time for a Bachelors in Graphic Design. I’m still scared honestly, but if I weren’t scared, I would have done this a long time ago.
So what would you do if you weren’t scared?